Coping with change
The challenge of coping with change is one that we all come up against. I work with individuals and teams that are going through change, and I deal with periods of change regularly myself. I’m thinking about this subject as I’ve been in a period of rapid and disruptive change for some time now. I left my career, I started HEX, I joined the trustee boards of a couple of charities, and now I’m moving house to a different part of the country.
It doesn’t matter how often we go through change; coping with change doesn’t seem to get any easier.
Why is change difficult?
There’s some psychology that might help explain (full disclosure, I’m not a psychologist, but I am interested in the workings of the brain):
1. Our brains are wired to seek stability and predictability
Predictability enhances our ability to anticipate and respond to potential threats. If we know what’s coming, we can prepare ourselves better. Also, our brains aim to be efficient in processing information. Predictable patterns reduce cognitive load and allow the brain to allocate resources to more complex tasks. Finally, reward systems in our brains are activated by those rewards that are predictable. Anticipation itself can trigger release of dopamine, associated with pleasure. This encourages behaviour that leads to predictable positive outcomes.
2. Negative bias and loss aversion
We’re inherently loss averse. We prefer to hold on to what we know rather than risk potential losses by adopting something new. We often cling to the familiar, even if it no longer serves us.
3. Identity disruption
Change often requires adjustments in behaviour, roles, and perspectives. Such shifts can lead to a disruption of our sense of identity, leaving us feeling lost or unsure of our place in the changing landscape. By recognising that our identities can be flexible and adaptive, we can navigate change while staying true to our core values.
4. Past experience and trauma
Past negative experiences or traumas related to change can create a psychological barrier to embracing new opportunities. By acknowledging and addressing these experiences, we can actively work towards healing and build resilience to approach change with a more positive mindset.
5. Exhaustion
Change requires continuous adaptation, which can be mentally and physically exhausting. It often involves a loss of control, causing stress that increases the longer the change lasts.
Stages of change
Many of us will be aware of the Kubler-Ross change curve, developed in relation to grief. It looks something like this:
Everyone has an individual response to change. Most people, however, generally experience broadly the three zones detailed in the diagram. My response generally looks like:
Energy: Although it has its downsides, change usually energises me (at least at first). I often have a burst of activity at the beginning of a change process followed by a period of acute anxiety as I begin to process what the change might mean for me.
Anxiety: When I enter the neutral zone, my anxiety remains, but I generally fluctuate between depression and disillusionment with a bit of bargaining in the mix. This is where I wonder whether or not I’m doing the right thing, what the change will mean for me long term, and what I stand to lose.
Acceptance: I then reach the new beginning zone but before I move through it, I often bounce back into the neutral zone. Once this happens a few times I move to acceptance. I’m usually on the look-out for opportunities, so by that time I’m probably already on to the next change!
I recognise that this can be quite difficult for those around me. As I’m often driving change and am so energised initially, it’s disorienting when I suddenly feel anxious and start questioning whether I’m doing the right thing. My partner processes change more slowly than me but is much more resolute once he’s reached his new beginning. Several times I’ve spooked him when questioning something he has successfully adjusted to. It’s very complicated!
What to bear in mind when coping with change
There are a few things that I find helpful to bear in mind when coping with change, which I’d like to share:
Recognise we’re rarely in control
For me, the first thing is to recognise that I have little control. Focusing on increasing control is generally futile. Energy is better spent in coping. I try and get curious about what’s going on for me. What’s making me feel anxious or resistant, and is it real or just a prediction? I also try to remember that I’ve dealt with change my whole life and always coped and been successful.
Our natural responses don’t always serve us
I remind myself that I have a bias towards action when I am anxious. This means I’m likely to seek out information or thoughts that provide temporary reassurance that I’m doing the right thing and that the change is positive. This respite is temporary and often, the anxiety comes back worse than before. Sitting with uncomfortable feelings and doing nothing actually leads me to process the emotions of change more effectively.
Rapid change is usually temporary
I recognise that change, while continuous, is not always fast and high intensity. It only happens quickly in short bursts. Despite our human limitations, we can manage change successfully and come out the other end unscathed. Things are rarely as bad as we think they’re going to be.
Are you struggling to manage change?
I help people to understand their responses to challenging periods and make positive behaviour change. If you are struggling to manage change, or work with people who are, me and the team at HEX may be able to help. We are here to help people, teams, and organisations to be at their best. You can arrange a free, no obligation consultation here, or you can contact me at tom@hex-development.com.
