A new journey… making my own footprints
I come from a family who have all carved out pretty successful careers. My Dad was awarded an OBE followed by a CBE for services to an industry he spent over four decades championing. My mum, (now retired) a fantastic teacher supporting children with extra learning needs, my older brother a lawyer and younger brother a chartered engineer – no one can deny that success runs through my blood. Growing up, my parents often told me to ‘try my best’, which would always be good enough. I know my upbringing was privileged – I grew up in a secure, loving, supportive family with access to education. I did what many people do in my position - I got my A-levels, went to university, and then went on to obtain a Masters in Human Resource Management. I feel my career over the last 18 years has all-in-all been pretty successful.
So why do I still feel like a fraud?
In a Harvard Business Review (HBR) article, Ruchika Tulshyan loosely defines imposter syndrome as ‘doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud’. Psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes developed the concept, originally termed “imposter phenomenon”, which focused on “high-achieving women believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise”. Their findings ultimately spurred decades of thought leadership, programmes and initiatives to address imposter syndrome in women.
A good friend recently asked me “what’s the real issue here?” My answer: I suppose I’m still wondering whether my success is by luck or accident, and who the hell do I think I am starting my own business?
Perfection and imposter syndrome in women seem to be emerging more and more and I’ve been wondering why this might be. Is it a response to the greater pressures of business and the desire to control things as it becomes increasingly clear that we are less able to control anything? Or is it the result of too much – or too little – information, education or training?
How can we mitigate the negative effects of imposter syndrome? In another HRB article, Gill Corkindale suggests a number of strategies which might help:
Recognise the imposter feelings when they emerge- awareness is the first step to change
Rewrite your own thoughts – remind yourself its normal not to know everything and that you will find out more as you progress
Talk about your feelings – there maybe others who feel like imposters too, it’s better to have an open dialogue rather than harbour negative thoughts alone
Consider the context – most people will experience moments where they don’t feel 100% confident. Self-doubt can be a normal reaction but if you catch yourself thinking you are useless, reframe it: “the fact that I feel useless right now does not mean that I really am”
Reframe failure as a learning opportunity – find out the lessons and use them constructively in future
Be kind to yourself – we are all entitled to make small mistakes
Seek support – everyone needs help
Visualise your success – stay focused on the outcome
As I sit here today, about to embark on what I know will be the biggest and most exciting venture of my professional life, I know those pesky feelings of ‘perfectionism and imposterism’ are lurking. However, this time I have no one else’s shoes to fill, just a big opportunity and plenty to be excited about! How will I cope? By practising all of the above, and at least making sure I always try my best.
I’d love to hear any techniques or coping strategies that work for you. Please share your comments below!
Best wishes
